SOC #30: An unfortunate sum of a fortunate outcome

I drank my coffee out of a cup that belongs to my father. It's a memorabilia coffee mug dedicated in memory to John Wayne. On the inside facing me as I drink is a quote that says: "Courage is facing death but saddling up anyway." Nice quote to begin the day, but not the best, or most encouraging from my perceptive. When Lemmy from the band Motorhead was asked if he feared death he simply said, "No." Now, who am I going to admire more? A conservative cowboy full of bullshit, or nonpolitical rock 'n roll musician who didn't give one flying fuck about what others thought of him? Lemmy lived his life the way he pleased, without any concern of the consequences of his actions, because in the end nothing what he actually did hurt anyone but his own health. The man died at 70 years old for fuck sake. People have died doing less than he did in his entire lifetime. Like for example: Heath Ledger. That motherfucker did legal pills prescribed by doctors, and dropped dead buck naked waiting to get a massage at 28 years old. Lemmy drank a bottle of bourbon everyday since 30 years old, did speed, LSD, cocaine, smoked weed, and died of an aggressive cancer without a care in the world. He probably died with a cigarette in his mouth. As Bill Hicks would say: "I'm getting mixed signals." I don't know why I'm blathering so much about Lemmy. I didn't listen to Motorhead a lot, with great regret, just a collection of songs my cousin put on my old iPod when I was 19 years old. But after the man's death, I've been watching videos of Lemmy on youtube for the past few days. A documentary made in 2010 about his day to day life, interviews of him sitting, talking, and drinking Jack and Coke, shopping(buying The Beatles in mono). Not like John Wayne, who cared about his image, and how "American" looking he should project himself. I like John Wayne movies, they're cool, but why the fuck did he concern himself on how "American" things should be. You make art, motherfucker, not propaganda bullshit on how life should be lived. That's a bit communist. Which of course he hated. The best quote I've ever heard is from Lemmy I heard just a few hours ago: "Fuck God. Fuck the Devil. Fuck the Church. I'm responsible for my actions, no one else." Now, that's a quote that inspires me to the fullest. Only little of what John Wayne said in his lifetime means anything to me. John Wayne was no true "American"; he was simply John fucking Wayne, and nothing more. No more than Lemmy was a "British" person. Lemmy was Lemmy and had no apologies about it. At the end of one of the documentaries I watched he said, "I want to be remembered as an honest man, as an honorable man. But that's out of the question." John Wayne probably said: "A blue blood, patriot American-" Who fucking cares what that tall bitch said. I don't know where I'm going with this posting. Oh, yeah, living life and acknowledging one's mistakes, and bettering oneself. John Wayne surely made mistakes, but pretended not to learn from, let alone remember them. Lemmy, I'm sure, learned from them, then didn't give a shit that he made a mistake in the first place. Doctor probably said to him, "You're going to die within six months." Lemmy responded, "Good. I got time for another tour. Shorter than I wanted." I could just picture him in his home in Los Angeles taking a nap, expecting to wake up, then dying with a grin on his face. Look, I've made mistakes in my own life. I mean, some of you have read about it from my previous posts. Fictionalized most of it is, yes, but the idea is there. I did it(some of it) then moved on. Cocaine, never doing it again. LSD dipped in shrooms, dear God, never want to go near someone who's even thinking about doing it. Marijuana... well, had my fun with the shit, but with the new thing they call "dabbing," goodbye, time to move one. Have fun with the crack of weed. I'm settled now with beer, which I'm drinking at this moment, and coffee in the morning, which I talked about at the beginning of this post when I first talked about John Wayne. I've ended up in places where most people would be depressed about for decades. It's taken me about 3 or 4 years, but now I'm over it. It's taken a wholehearted devotion to writing a novel inspired by such events, as well as having my heart broken by a cold-hearted BITCH! I shouldn't call her that, but I just did. I wrote so much, so fast for NaNoWriMo in the month of November in 2015 that I gave myself a break in the month of December. That break was a mistake, but I don't care. I do have a day job, you know, or a night job to be more specific. I haven't forgotten about the story I was writing, so that's a good thing. I have a general idea of how the story will finish, which is an even better thing. I don't know where I'm going with this post. Is there a point? Oh yeah: FUCK JOHN WAYNE! It's all about FUCKING LEMMY! Like Lemmy, I have no regrets so far in my life as I enter my 30th year of life. Well, I guess the only regret I have is not listening to all of the Motorhead albums growing up. Oops! Shame on me.