SOC #33: The Write Way

First I'd like to begin with the wrong way: and that is taking a prolonged break when you make it to the halfway point of a novel, because you forget a few things - the most important things - like character's names, especially if their names are truly uncommon. Then you forget details once you glance at the few pages you had written before stopping, when you ask yourself questions you'd know if you didn't stop: Like did you mention the character's parents. "Shit," I thought in my brain, "did I even think of his parents, like at all. Are they dead, or alive?" So begin backtracking by skimming over the 70 plus pages I have written so far, and while attempting to find if the parents were even talked about in the narration, or if one of the character's said anything, I begin to find typos, and sentences that must be rewritten. I begin fixing them and forget why I was going through what I had written. What was I looking for? Goddamn it. Must fix the typos for later, the second draft/rewrite. Now I must try to remember why I was scanning through the story in the first place. Oh, okay. About a half hour - or maybe an hour - later I find no mention of the character's parents, just his sibling he had a short conversation with. Okay, that's done. I scroll back down to where I left off and begin writing. Then I forget how I spelled the main character's last name. So I scroll back up, find more issues in the text that must be fixed. "Fucking shit," I say out loud to myself, "save it until the rewrite, you dumb-shit." My mother walks in, and asks, "What's wrong?" I say, "Just speaking out loud to myself. Just trying to make the book better, if it could ever be." She leaves. I look at the computer screen, and again forget what I was looking for in the first place. Oh, yeah, the character's fucking last name. I find it. I want to stab myself in the leg with my pen for forgetting how to spell the guy's fucking name; I should've known. DUH! I scroll back to where I left off, continue to type. It may be shitty at the moment, but all can be fixed later. I can take my time then when- FUCK! Who was the ex-girlfriend screwing at the moment. Another name I had forgotten. "Never again," I whisper to myself, "I will never take another break that lasts longer than a day, or a short lunch break,  from writing a novel until the first draft is done." You know what? No break until I feel I am satisfied. I again scroll through the text, find who the girl is screwing. A simple name to remember. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I continue writing until I get to a point where a little research is required. The story is a situation that may, or may not happen in real life, but there are moments in the story that at the least must sound authentic. So I go to the internet, google the topic I must research. Find a youtube video to watch, then a few more I must watch for clarification. Then I am totally bored, and find something funny to watch. It's two hours later when I realize that I am waisting my time not writing. FUCK! SHIT! Now where was I. NOTE TO SELF: research things later; you don't need to know everything; it's only a first draft, you fucking moron. Am I even good enough for this? Will I ever be good enough to make a living at writing? You know, I just want enough to quit my day job. Don't think about money, think about the work. A true artist doesn't focus on the money, but on the work. It's three hours later when I finally stop watching the goddamn youtube videos and begin writing again. Fuck it. If I fuck up someone's name, fix it later. I did the same thing when I wrote my first novel: I misspelled someone's name like three times. I didn't realize it until the editor pointed it out to me. The biggest enemy of a writer is not only the gargantuan monster that is Doubt, but the fucking distracting questions a writer continuously asks themselves while writing. Get it done, then bitch about it later is all I got to say.